Have you ever been told, “You’re too sensitive” as if it’s a flaw?
If you’re a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), you’ve probably heard it more times than you can count. And while others may mean it as a casual comment or even a joke, it can land like a punch to the gut.
The truth is, sensitivity isn’t a weakness. It’s a normal trait and a valuable one at that.
This article shares solid and simple ideas for what to say or do when someone calls you “too sensitive.”
Whether it happens at work, with family, or even with a close friend, you deserve tools to handle it with clarity and confidence—without losing your sense of self.
1. Pause and Breathe Before Responding
Before reacting, take a deep breath.
Your nervous system is wired to process more deeply and feel more intensely, so it’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed in such moments.
A short pause helps prevent an emotional reaction you might later regret and gives you a moment to choose your words.
Try silently telling yourself: “This comment says more about them than it does about me.”
2. Say, “I experience things deeply & that’s not a bad thing.”
This is a calm, non-defensive way to reframe the conversation. It shows that you’re not ashamed of your sensitivity and that you understand it.
Research by Dr. Elaine Aron, who coined the term Highly Sensitive Person, shows that 20-30% of the population has this trait. It’s not a disorder—it’s a temperament.
By confidently stating your truth, you offer others a chance to see sensitivity in a new light.
3. Ask, “Can you explain what you mean by that?”
Sometimes people say “you’re too sensitive” without thinking.
This question gently shifts the conversation from criticism to clarity. It also makes them reflect on their words—often, they don’t have a real reason for what they said.
It’s not confrontational, but it does set a boundary and invite more thoughtful communication.
4. Use Humor to Diffuse the Moment
If the situation allows, a light-hearted response can help take the sting out of the comment and show that you’re self-aware.
You might say, “Yep, I have a PhD in feeling things!” or “Guilty—I cry at dog commercials, too.”
This works especially well in social or family settings where being too serious might escalate tension. But don’t feel pressured to be funny if it doesn’t feel authentic.
5. Remind Yourself: Sensitivity Is a Strength
Just because someone doesn’t understand your sensitivity doesn’t mean you should explain or defend it. Sensitivity is linked to strong empathy, creativity, and depth of processing—all incredible traits.
A 2014 brain imaging study from Stony Brook University found that HSPs show more activity in areas related to empathy and awareness when viewing the emotional expressions of loved ones (Acevedo et al., 2014).
That’s not “too sensitive”—that’s beautifully tuned in.
6. Later, Set a Clear Boundary
Following up with a boundary-setting conversation can help if the person keeps making hurtful comments.
You might say:
“When you call me ‘too sensitive,’ it makes me feel dismissed. I’m happy to talk about things, but I need to feel respected when we do.”
Setting boundaries doesn’t mean being rude, it means protecting your emotional space. It also models healthy communication for others.
7. Say, “That may be how you see it, but I know myself well.”
This response allows you to hold your ground without arguing. It shows maturity and self-awareness—and stops you from getting pulled into someone else’s misunderstanding of you.
You’re not obligated to make your experience more palatable for someone who isn’t trying to understand it.
8. Use “I” Statements to Share How You Feel
Instead of reacting defensively, say something like:
“I feel hurt when my emotions are labeled as ‘too much.’ It makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me when I’m just being myself.”
“I” statements focus on your feelings instead of blaming the other person. They’re a great way to express yourself while keeping the conversation respectful and real.
9. Walk Away If Needed
Not every comment deserves your energy. If someone continually puts you down or mocks your sensitivity, it’s okay to remove yourself. Walking away is not a weakness, it’s a strong act of self-care.
You might say, “I’m going to take a break from this conversation. I need space to feel okay again.” Then do what soothes your system—step outside, stretch, or message someone who gets you.
10. Surround Yourself With People Who Value Sensitivity
The more you spend time with people who appreciate your sensitivity—friends, therapists, support groups, even HSP-specific communities—the less power hurtful comments hold.
When you’re regularly seen and accepted as you are, you stop internalizing the idea that you’re “too much.” You realize you’re just right—in the right setting, with the right people.
Final Thoughts: You’re Not Too Much
Being a Highly Sensitive Person isn’t a flaw—it’s a different way of experiencing the world.
When someone says “you’re too sensitive,” what they really mean is: “I don’t know how to handle emotions like you do.” That’s not your burden to carry.
You don’t need to shrink yourself to fit in. Instead, learn to stand tall in your sensitivity. Own it. Name it. And when necessary, educate with kindness and boundaries.
Because the world needs people like you—people who care deeply, notice the quiet things, and feel the full range of being human.
Sources:
- Aron, E. N. (1997). The Highly Sensitive Person.
- Acevedo, B. P., Aron, E. N., Pospos, S., & Jessen, D. (2014). “The functional highly sensitive brain: a review of the brain circuits underlying sensory processing sensitivity and seemingly related disorders.” Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences.
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with love and kindness,
