10 Things You Should Know When Dating a Highly Sensitive Person (According to Lauren LaSalle)
Dating a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) can be a beautiful and deeply meaningful experience — but it also comes with unique needs and considerations.
To help you better understand and support the HSP in your life, we’re sharing insights inspired by Lauren LaSalle, a mentor for sensitive moms and the host of The Highly Sensitive Podcast.
In a recent episode released on April 5, Lauren shared 10 key things everyone should know when dating an HSP. The points you’ll read here are directly from her episode, but the descriptions have been expanded with detailed explanations and research to offer even more context.
Credit goes to Lauren for bringing forward these important reminders about sensitivity in relationships.
Whether you’re new to understanding high sensitivity or simply want to build a stronger relationship with your HSP partner, this guide will walk you through everything you need to know.
1. HSPs Feel Everything Very Deeply
Highly Sensitive People experience emotions more intensely than the average person.
Research by Dr. Elaine Aron, the pioneer behind the term “Highly Sensitive Person,” shows that HSPs process emotional stimuli more deeply due to differences in their nervous system. Joy, sadness, anger, and love are often felt on a grander scale.
When dating an HSP, it’s important to honour their emotional depth instead of dismissing it as “too much.” Their emotional world is vibrantly rich — and being present with them through their feelings can build deep trust and intimacy.
2. HSPs Need Regular Solitude to Recharge
HSPs often feel overwhelmed by the constant stimulation of daily life. Studies confirm that HSPs have heightened sensory processing sensitivity (SPS), meaning their brains work harder to process their surroundings.
Because of this, alone time isn’t just a preference — it’s essential for their well-being.
After a busy social event or even a long workday, HSPs may need quiet time to decompress. Respecting their need for solitude shows love and understanding.
3. Sensory Overload is Real
Crowded restaurants, loud concerts, flashing lights — for an HSP, these environments can quickly become overwhelming.
Research from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology highlights that HSPs react more strongly to sensory input compared to non-HSPs.
If you’re dating an HSP, you might notice them withdrawing, getting irritable, or shutting down when their senses are overloaded.
Being mindful about choosing calmer, quieter environments can make your time together more enjoyable for both of you.
4. HSPs Pick Up on Your Moods, Even Unspoken Ones
HSPs are remarkably attuned to the emotions of those around them, even if nothing is said aloud.
Dr. Aron’s research shows that HSPs have stronger mirror neuron systems, meaning they “feel into” the emotional states of others more easily.
If you’re feeling stressed, sad, or upset, your HSP partner will likely sense it. Being honest and communicative about how you’re feeling — even when it’s hard — will help them feel safer and less anxious.
5. Deep Conversations Matter
Small talk may be fine for acquaintances, but HSPs crave deeper, more meaningful conversations with their partners.
A 2011 study on close relationships found that deeper conversations lead to greater happiness and stronger bonds — something HSPs seem to intuitively know.
When dating an HSP, prioritize real, thoughtful conversations. Talk about dreams, fears, values, and feelings. They thrive on emotional depth and authenticity.
6. Criticism Hurts More Than You Would Expect
Even well-meaning or “constructive” criticism can feel especially painful to an HSP.
Research shows that negative feedback triggers a stronger reaction in the HSP brain, lighting up regions linked to emotional pain.
This doesn’t mean you can’t address concerns — but it’s important to be extra gentle, compassionate, and mindful of your tone.
Framing feedback in a supportive way, like “I appreciate you and I’d love it if we could work on this together” helps create a safer, more loving environment.
7. Conflict Can Be Stressful
For many HSPs, arguments and intense conflict feel physically distressing. They may experience a racing heart, sweating, or even a “fight, flight, or freeze” response.
Neuroscientific studies show that HSPs often have higher activity in areas of the brain related to emotional regulation.
If disagreements arise, staying calm, using soft voices, and giving them time to process can go a long way. Highly Sensitive People value peaceful resolution and emotional safety more than “winning” an argument.
8. Rush Decisions Can Be Stressful
HSPs tend to think deeply and carefully before making decisions. Rushing them into a choice — whether it’s picking a restaurant or making a major life change — can trigger significant stress.
Psychological research supports that HSPs exhibit greater depth of processing, meaning they consider more variables before arriving at a decision.
When dating an HSP, be patient and give them space to weigh their options at their own pace.
9. HSPs Love Deeply but Also Need to Feel Safe
When an HSP loves, they do so with their whole heart. Their loyalty, empathy, and emotional connection run deep.
However, because of their sensitive nature, they also need to feel emotionally safe in the relationship.
Safety comes from trust, kindness, consistency, and patience. Creating a secure environment allows them to fully open up and give you their incredible depth of love.
10. Thoughtfulness Goes a Long Way
For HSPs, small, thoughtful gestures have a big impact. A kind word, a handwritten note, a cosy evening planned just for the two of you — these moments matter deeply.
Studies on relationship satisfaction show that small, consistent acts of kindness predict long-term happiness more than grand, occasional gestures.
In dating an HSP, thoughtfulness isn’t just appreciated; it’s cherished.
Final Thoughts on Things to Know When Dating an HSP
Understanding and loving a Highly Sensitive Person requires patience, compassion, and a willingness to embrace a deeper emotional world.
These 10 insights, shared by Lauren LaSalle on her Highly Sensitive Podcast, offer a heartfelt guide for building a strong, supportive relationship with an HSP.
Lauren’s work as a mentor for sensitive moms is all about empowering sensitive souls to trust themselves, set healthy boundaries, and create peaceful lives — and her wisdom extends beautifully into the world of relationships.
If you want even more insights into the world of sensitivity, be sure to listen to Lauren’s podcast for honest, empowering conversations.
When you recognize and honour your partner’s sensitivity, you open the door to a relationship filled with authenticity, emotional richness, and lasting love.
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with love and kindness,
